Why Baseball Perseveres Gosh, baseball is boring. I mean, seriously freaking boring. As in, so boring that I sometimes feel that watching a meaningless mid-season game on television in the doldrums of early June might somehow necessitate fashioning a device to prop open my eyes like a scene out of A Clockwork Orange. Yeah, that […]
Glass Ceilings and Closed Doors
Whatever your politics might be, it is beginning to look like the next President of the United States is going to be taking her oath in a pants suit. However you may feel about it, the smart money right now has to be on Hilary. I’m going to go ahead and say it, folks: This […]
I Go Wherever My Bike Takes Me
I really need to stop answering my phone when I’m riding my bike. That should be a time for myself, right? A moment for self-reflection and meditation, perhaps? As I stumble toward my 45th birthday, that should be my inner sanctum, but I give it away too capriciously. Don’t think, however, that the irony is […]
I Care Where I Put My Commas
I Care Where I Put My Commas I am going to give you fair warning right now: This shit is about get really nerdy really quick. I do- I care about where I put my commas. I care about exacting prose done right. And in the midst of a chaotic world where no one […]
Kids Should be Seen and Heard
Today we are going to try something a little different. For those of you who don’t know, today is Bring Your Child to Work Day, that annual rite of passage where co-workers bemoan the fact that some of us have decided to wreak havoc on the world by making the choice to breed. But not […]
Internet Anonymity
How Internet Anonymity Created a Legion of Jerkbags Let me start my diatribe this week by taking a moment to thank all of you for taking the time to read this nonsensical drivel. Seriously, when I go over the analytics to see how many people read TRUTH: IN 1000 WORDS or LESS each Tuesday and Friday, I […]
Is the United States Really Happy?
In response to my last column on the absolute shit show the 2016 presidential election has become, one of my relatives wrote back to me and suggested I “control my rage” and then implied, with hardly subtle irony, that I should vote for Hilary. Ah, I just love how nurturing and supportive my family is. […]
Election 2016: Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich
Election 2016: Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich? How did we come to this America? Is there anybody out there that really believes that this shit show of an election was what the founding father’s had in mind when they penned the Constitution? I’ve read it from beginning to end, even quite carefully a couple of […]
Is UCONN Bad for Women’s Basketball?
Is UCONN Bad for Women’s Basketball? You know what I’m not watching right now, even though I love sports and hail from the otherwise unnoteworthy state of Connecticut? That’s right, I just cannot bring myself to watching the women’s NCAA basketball championship, a certain victory for the University of Connecticut and yet one of the more […]
Your Kid Doesn’t Need a Damn Cellphone
Your Kid Doesn’t Need A Damn Cellphone I almost always laugh at the response I get when I tell people I am an only child. Folks usually just give me one top-to-bottom glance and suggest in a nonchalant voice, “Huh, I should have figured.” What is it that marks me so obviously as the byproduct […]