What the World Could Live Without New Year’s is a time for resolutions, usually resolutions that will be hastily discarded like strip club pamphlets on the Vegas strip before those brand-spanking new 2016 calendars even get turned to February. So let’s not fool ourselves. Let’s just take a meaningful glance forward and consider how the […]
Nirvana is Overrated: The Official List of Best Grunge Bands
Nirvana is Overrated: The Official List of Best Grunge Bands This time of year, everybody has a list. Top news stories of the year. Best films of the year. Top sex toys for 2016. Yes, everybody has a list, especially the big guy in the red suit. Not wanting to be left out, I felt […]
Sharing is Caring…for some
Sharing is Caring….for some Like many parents, I teach my kids to share. It seems like a basic tenant of decent living, does it not? Well, not so for all folks. If you’ve ever read the classic Bel Kaufman short story, “Sunday in the Park”, and most of my former students out there sure as […]
Santa is a Pinko Commie Fascist
Santa is A Pinko Commie Fascist One of my favorite holiday traditions is sitting back on the couch with my kids and watching the disgustingly bad yet oh so saccharinely sweet animated holiday specials from my own precious childhood. The production quality may be something you would expect in a B-rate horror film, but I […]
Getting Your Bell Rung
Getting Your Bell Rung FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, SAVE THE CHILDREN!!!! Well, I guess only some children. In particular, my children. In fact, let’s just save my children and screw the rest of anybody else’s. Gosh,do we ever lie to ourselves as a society! We project some sanctimonious, morally pious view on all around us only […]
Jesus and Buddha in a Steel Caged Death Match
Jesus and Buddha in a Steel Caged Death Match So, this is the first installment of TRUTH: in 100 words or less where I have made good on the promise to let the readers decide on what topic I will write about next. And this is what you have chosen. You sick, twisted fucks. Actually, […]
What I’m Thankful For
What I’m Thankful For Ok, so Thanksgiving lists of what we are grateful for are overdone and preposterously self-promoting. No one wants to read the list of family, friends and colleagues that I am truly blessed to have in my life. No one wants to read that shit. So let me instead give you a […]
Why does Starbucks Hate Jesus?
Why does Starbucks Hate Jesus? Merry Christmas, everyone! Yes, I said “Merry Christmas”. Not “Happy Holidays”. Not “Seasons Greetings”. Not “Best Wishes for Profiting from Free Market Capitalism”. That’s right, I said, “Merry Fucking Christmas” people. Oh no, now I’ve done it; I’ve gone and pissed off people on both sides of the increasingly divisive […]
Keith Richards is My Role Model or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Existentialism
Believe it or not, Keith Richards truly is my role model. And yes, I mean the Keith Richards that is rumored to receive regular blood transfusions in order to detoxify the chemical waste dump he has turned his body into. And yes, I mean the same Keith Richards that once, by his own confession, snorted […]
Mother and Son
Dr. Thompson ate lunch with them and explained the various group therapies and treatments the Institute was employing with Elizabeth. All the while, she sat to his side, openly mocking and deriding him with childish facial gestures and a frequent grandiose rolling of her eyes. While Faith found Dr. Thompson to be a dedicated […]